kinda skateboarded through alleys i hadn’t been in in a while. saw a chump today and i sang to myself in my head “♩i’m probably gonna fuck your giiirlfrieeend♫”. got high with a friend and as i was skateboarding home took the time to reflect. a very large amount of people use marijuana and continue to be regular functioning people, does that mean i could do that? i mean using drugs isn’t necessarily the greatest activity i could be doing in my adult life, but i like smoking and instead of thinking that i should learn to work around it, maybe i should just work with it? it makes me feel good and usually i don’t get depressed and i like to do things and clean things and be productive. if i remembered to drink lot of green tea and eat really healthy i’m sure i could be normal, but also not feel depressed. i feel as though writing music also comes much easier to me when i’m high and sometimes i smoke it for that and come up with some really great stuff. id also like to skateboard alot more and be able to do the cool shit everyone else does. not because everyone else does it, but it looks like a lot of fun and it’d be good exercise for myself.

    i saw one of my favorite bands (since freshman year) tonight and it felt too good. it was almost too much. they played some of my favorite songs and an old friend of mine and i’s song which led to me getting really weird and sentimental about it. i sang and i screamed and as the words crawled out of my mouth the demons seemed to climb out as well. i felt so alive that i wanted to thank the band personally.

    then as soon as we crossed back into rome, i could feel evil creeping up on me again

    what if all the people that believed it was okay to joke about killing yourself actually killed themselves

    i think my sister may be possessed by a demon thats trying to get me to kill myself

    you looked terrible today

    can’t dance

    on the moon

    you’re dead

    in highschool

    if my facial hair ends up growing any faster im gonna cut my head off


    desired unattainable is my mind not fit for this life cant be out of my head enough